By Bigboy Madzivanzira
Two weeks before Andrea’s funeral in Dzivarasekwa, a young lady from Sentosa travelled all the way to dance at a funeral wake half naked, showing all her inner garments because _“one of their own”_ had died. Memorita was celebrating the death. I watched with shame.
Then I watched Andrea’s funeral send-off videos and I was shocked again. Not by the death — but by the whispers at the wake.
I knew Andrea. A very good young person. One time I hired a car and Andrea drove to deliver wheelchairs all the way to Nyanga Provincial Hospital for our amputees. Respectful, reliable — a young person with the temper of fine steel.
Yet at the wake, all people could talk about was that Andrea “had many partners.” The service to others, the respect, the hard work… erased.
Then an elderly person in the neighbourhood who knew Andrea for long admitted: _“We used to go outing with him. He was a womanizer. It’s a pity he was not using protection.”_ That was Mushangwe speaking.
As a Health Promotion Practitioner, Mushangwe’s words stopped me. They forced me to ask: What is the role of elders in our communities today?
If our uncles and _sahwiras_ go “outing” with our youth, see the risky behaviour, and say nothing until the funeral then we are all failing. Elders used to be _vadzidzisi_ teachers of life. They warned, they corrected, they handed out condoms with a stern word. Today, too many watch in silence, or even join in, and only speak when it’s too late to save the life.
Four truths we must face:
1. Every life had value. Andrea drove wheelchairs for strangers. That steel matters more than the gossip.
2. Celebrating death is spiritual sickness. When we dance on graves because we think someone “earned” their death, we harden our own children’s hearts.
3. Stigma kills more than disease. Mockery sends the living into hiding. They don’t test. They don’t treat. Infections spread. We dig more graves.
4. Elders must return to being protectors, not spectators. If you see your nephew with multiple partners, if you go “outing” together you have a duty to talk about protection. To buy the condoms. To demand the HIV test. Silence is consent to the funeral.
As a Family Therapist, I sit with the mothers and siblings left behind. None of them are dancing. None of them say _“at least the elders warned him.
If we want to save the next Andrea, we must:
– Make clinics safe for everyone to test and get ARVs without shame
– Bring elders back into prevention train vanasekuru and vanatete to talk about sex, condoms, and PrEP
– Fight the poverty that makes dangerous choices look normal
– Restore dignity at funerals — and accountability in life
Andrea’s death was preventable. Mushangwe knew the risk. We all know someone at risk right now.
Let’s stop waiting for the funeral to speak. Let’s stop the applause. Let’s start the conversations that save lives.
About the Author
Bigboy Madzivanzira is a Health Promotion Practitioner registered with the Allied Health Professions Council of Zimbabwe, a Medical Rehabilitation Practitioner registered with the Medical Rehabilitation Practitioners Council of Zimbabwe, a Family Therapist, and a Freelance Journalist accredited by the Zimbabwe Media Commission.
He runs the Health Promotion Clinic Trust and offers free community talks on _“Elders, Youth & Prevention – Our Shared Duty”.
Contact: 0773 367 913 | Email: healthpromotionclinic@gmail.com